It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
