does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
BRING THE BAGELS
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
