How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
