But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
sarcasm needs its own font
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
