i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
