god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
