Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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