Sry I called you an 8
only if we run a train.
done.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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