would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
