He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
