I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
