Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
