we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
