Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
