:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
