But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
What drink are we having for lunch?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
