I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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