I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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