at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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