At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
