Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
