you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
