you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
