we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
