do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can't turn off my feet"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
