I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
