you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
