i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
