How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
