Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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