In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
