Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
