Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
