it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
