Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
