I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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