Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
