So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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