You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
