The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
