normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
