She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
