can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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