Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
