sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
