So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
