Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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