Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
