if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
