What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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