For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
